a week after

i've not been updating my blog as my sister came down to KL with me since last sunday.
so i basically dont have computer to use as she 'rampas' my computer!!!
i have a nice time spending with my sister here.
and i really dont have the time to think of 'something'...
THANK YOU LUI LUI!!!!

let's talk about the whole week briefly..
sunday..
reached kl by 2 somthing..
we went to sunway and my sister beg me for ice skating..
so..we spent 1 and half hour on ice skating..
after that, we went for dinner at Dragon-I..
my favourite place..!! =)
there are photos taken..but will upload in the next blog..!!!
after that..we sent our grandma to Cheras, her friends' house.
she stay overnight there for 2 days.

monday, i went to coll as usual.
my sister stayed at home.
and i was so worried that she's alone.
i called her but she didn't pick up the phone..>_>
and when i got home..i found out that she just woke up..!!
and..rather online than returning my call..!
what kind of sister is this..!!
)=
so i brought her out during my 2 hours break.
then i put her in the comp lab and let her do her homework and online there,
while waiting for my class to end.
after coll, i went to 1 Utama with her.
we bought something..^_^...
and she used up all my cash!
then we went home and had salad that night!

the next day, i go college. and then i blog this.
okay, me wanna go now oh. love love muaks muaks.
bye.
-melissastolemyname-

Ipoh again

i'm in Ipoh again.
i cant stand not to come back ot Ipoh.
as i really love Ipoh more than anywhere else, except Japan!

i reached home yesterday just before the heavy rain falls.
the rain was horrible and was so windy.
the branches of trees can be seen all over the place, in the midle of the road, after the rain!
i never notice it was so heavy rain when i'm at home that day.
later that night, after sending my sister to tuition, i sent my grandma for some medical thingy.
then i accompany her there, waited for about half an hour, only we realize that lady is not going to come over as her husband was sick.
so we went home.
around 9.30pm, my mum, grandma and me went to fetch my sister.
then we went to the night market.
i miss the night market so much. the place that i always have fun with my friends and my loves one.
i saw him coincidently.
he slim down edi, =( how come never take good care of himself.....

i msg him that night and ask him out the next day.
he said he not sure and he said he'll msg me when he's free tomorrow.
so i spend my whole day today waiting for his msg.
but i didn't get any contact at all.
he broke promises.
you know how it feels when you wait and you get nothing in the end?
i wait wait wait..till evening..i saw him cycling around the housing area.
so basically he is damn free. just he dont want to see me!
ok..coincidently again he passed by my car,he saw me, and i saw him!
i msg him again, as i really dont understand.
i said, how come you break promises, you dont want to see me, at least just tell me that you're not free or what.
why just leave me like that without telling me anything?
and i beg him, i dont want to be like that.
you said you need time..i'll give you time.
give you all the time.
i'm really sorry to make you feel frustrated.
i'm sorry!
i'm really very sorry!
now i think, it might be better if you forget me.
it might be better if you really can swept me off your mind.

if i have a second chance to live, for sure i wont go to the same tuition centre!
for sure i wont let you meet up with me!
for sure i wont let you in love with me!
for sure i wont let you get hurt like now!
for sure i wont let you be sad!
if i have a second chance, i really wont let all this to repeat!

the whole day i'm not in mood.
i just really dont know why!
and i hope everyone can leave me alone!
i just want to be alone!
i want to be ALONE!!!

just to say, I LOVE YOU, forever!

song lyrics

i just came back after i met with my personal trainee.
owhh..he's cute..i mean not the look..but the way he entertain me.
so he's from east malaysia.
haha..feel bad when i said that can see that he's not local as his english is not the same.
seems like im criticize him..i dont mean that, Norman, okays?


when im on the way home, my mum called.
and i found out another thing that my family did to my mum.
WTH..they way too over..!!!
at the same time, i found out some lyrics that tells out my mind exactly..!

想念是会呼吸的痛　

它活在我身上所有角落

哼你爱的歌会痛　

看你的信会痛　

连沈默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛　

它流在血液中来回滚动

后悔不贴心会痛　

恨不懂你会痛　

想见不能见最痛

我发誓不再说谎了　

多爱你就会抱你多紧的

我的微笑都假了　

灵魂像飘浮著　

你在就好了

so this lyrics describe my feelings at this time.
hmm..i wish you will see this..but you dont know how to read chinese..
thought of translating it into english..
but the meaning doesn't exist that clear if i translate.
so i'll just leave it like this.


have a good night everyone

happy monthlyversary..!!

today is 22 May..
is my 11th monthlyversary(word created by me!)
i dont have the chance to wish him.
what a sad thing.
i really wish to be with him today.
next month will be ANNIVERSARY!
but i dont have the chance to celebrate.
the relationship edi ended with a full stop.
in my heart..it still'll go on. without any regret..without him by my side.
sounds foolish..but i'll wait for him.

anyone curious about him?
anyone wanna know about him?
i seems never mention about his things since the first blog.
should i describe a little bit of him?
okay..maybe you all dont have the intension to know.
but i'll just describe a bit bit about him.

* he is a ok looking guy(look not so important,right?)
he is tall(this is important)
he is loving and caring(to others i dont know, but to me, he is!)
he'll think for my good
he always ask me to chase for my dream(he knows my dream well)
he made decision for me when i cant make any decision on my own.
he is really good to me and i dont know what more i can tell.

i just know that I LOVE HIM

he wont be coming back for me.
as soon ken says, no one can predict the future.
but..more or less..we know a bit of it.
maybe he will..there's still a possibility..
that's why..i'll wait.
i dont mind waiting.
as when we're together, i wait for his reply.
wait for him back from work.
wait for him back from playing basketball.
wait for him back from yum cha.
wait for him to wake up.
and now..i have to wait for him to come back for dont know how many years.
and maybe im wasting my time but i just want to wait.


haha...craping here as im damn boring!
today will be going to meet my personal trainee(Norman, if im not mistaken)
wakaka...you'll see a fitter me and a slimmer me in few months time!

i never sleep last night.
i think most of them watch football till late night.
but im the one who wake by their screaming.
i could here screaming from the left and right of my condo.
even upstairs and opposite.
wow..seems like the whole blog of my condo is doing the same thing at this late night.
i was so sleepy now..!!!

going to class now.
accounting..BORING!!!
take care..!

mOodY

as usual i went to school earlier.

and today i was so tired.

i dont know why..i just keep on slept off in class.

i shouldn't be so tired..as yesterday..i slept for dont know how many hours..

is like..from 3pm to 9 pm..then 11pm till 6am this morning..

is like..almost the whole day im sleeping.

sleeping is just the best thing to do when you're in a bad mood.

especially when you have things that keep on pop out in your mind.

and those are the things that you cannt accept and you wish that i wont happen.

there are a lots of thing that are non-predictable.

and there are a lots of things that are out of our control.

and i found out that there is a phrase that is very useful..

that is 'NO MOOD'....

someone told me..

no mood..

and all the responsibility..all the memories..and all the happiness..just push it all away..

and that's the most worst reason i've get.

i really dont get it.

what's the no mood about.

and..i really dont understand..is the no mood got so big influence..?

why is he so not in mood..is it my problem..?

maybe i shouldn't think bout this matter anymore..

but..i really just dont understand..why is it so...

anyway..now i really lost interest in any guys..

and....i dont think i'll bother bout that stuff for quite a time..

i need time..i need long time..hopefully i can put down and let go..

you wont be suffer for long..as i promise myself wont contact you anymore..

wishing you a happy life..

no matter what..you still own a place in my heart...

i feel more and more lonely now.

i've lost everyone..

including my best buddy.

all of them are busy with their own stuff.

and we seldom contact.

im more into myself.

my best buddy is my comp now.

no one else.

love you comp..!!!

*mature doesn't help in anything..!*

tired weekend

hmm..so i went back to Ipoh last thursday after i received the call..

and i never been free since then..

i went back and went to the funeral centre and stay there for whole day..

and on the saturday..everything was over..

hmm..is tiring..but is a memory...

not to say a sweet memory..but an unforgetable memory..

nothing much to talk about the funeral..

the purpose to blog today is more to express my feelings..

im not in good mood for few days...

one of the reasons was my great grandma..

i miss her..and i feel bad that i never see for the last time before she close her eyes..

im sorry laoma.....

another thing..i found out..

i really dont like that 'aunty'..

she's just so annoying...

and...im not sure whether she treat herself as a him or a her..

she's damn annoying....

ppl asking 3 man to stand in front..

and i really dont understand what's the purpose she's standing in front..

and what she did just never show any respect to the families..

she's way to much to treat our family like that..!!!

i msg him that day..

and....how come a person can change so fast..

no more love and become hate...

how come..from loving..to cool..

is that the way to love someone..

and is that what i deserve...

i thought i can deserve better..but how come this is what i got at last..?
i agree with what he says..

its not end of world without him..

but does he know..the life is suffering..?

from the way he talks..from the way he explain..

does he know it hurts...and does he know........................................

it doesn't matter...

although i cant accept the fact..

but i'll let go..

and..i told him..no need come back to me..

but no matter how long..i'll still wait..

and i believe...he'll be back..

hopefully....

yen..no worry about me..

im ok..im really ok..

everyone also have something that they cant help.

and dont feel bad and sad about that..

it really doesn't matter ok?

i love you yen..

and thank you so much for your concern..

let's see some photos..

it doesn't look nice...

and is randomly uploaded..

this one took the week before...having dinner after jogging..

took this the week before also..and..i looks sleepy...that's how i look like after crying....

we have supper after the funeral..my mum in white and im in red..coz my greatgrandma was 103 years old..

the last day of funeral..breakfast before going out..

last night..having dinner at the restaurant beside 'breeze cafe'..love the toilet..

is air conditioned..and..i love the colour tone...

took this morning..it's wesak day and we went to the temple before i come back to kl..

i like the little buddha..is cute...

the candle..is nice right..? can you spot my name..?

so that's all for tonight...

hopefully i could get into sleep and be alright tomorrow morning..!

good morning

morning guys..
hmm..its 8.25a.m. and im so boring in college waiting for my 9a.m. class..
today's weather so nice..
and i miss my bed so much..
everyday come to college so early just coz need to find parking..
aiks...stupid parking lot...=(

today is not a nice day..
as my mood is not that good..
early in the morning i saw something i expected which i dont want to see..
just receive a call...from my uncle..
sad news..
not going college tomorrow..
need back to ipoh tonight as something emergency..
*greatgrandma..rest in peace..*

i dont have the mood to blog..
but i got nothing to do as waiting for my programme director to finish her class..
yea..my friends..not to worry me..
i'll be ok..
and my elder sister..dont be down for so long..
you stil have lots of thing to do...

good day friends..
take care


*it suffer the most when i wanted to see but i cant.
it's pain when i heard about you..i miss you..and i cant have you..*

happy day

finally i got back all my papers..
except Malaysian Studies..
hmm...my results not that good..
but im satisfied..
im just easy to be satisfied..
hahaha..=D

so i went out with my friend today..
he's just so funny..
love hanging out with him..
is just so comfortable and relaxing..
today is my happiest day in KL i think..
yea...it is..
haha..
thank you so much for the cake..and the dinner..

there's nothing much to tell today..
just........
oh ya...wanted to say good luck to my Form 6 friends...
one of them told me the stuff are tough..
and...all the best ya friend..
and no worries..
you all sure can cope with it..
i believe you can..
support you here..
muacks muacks muacks...
love ya guys.....

it's my parents and I in the restaurant before i came back to KL last sunday..!

just showing...nothing much..!

haha..went dinner with him..love talking to him..crap much today..

thank you for the day friend...
enjoy and appreciate much..
looking forward for next saturday..
haha..take care..everyone...

complicated..!

i've gone back to my hometown for 3 days..

and i got no time at all to update my blog..

there are so many things to talk about..

but i dont think today i got the mood to write all of it..

there's 2 things today..

there's one person..

keep on insulting me and him..

i hate that..

i really hate that..

who the hell he think he is..

can control me?

am i that easy get bullied?

i dont like...i really dont like..

you can choose to insult me..

but not to insult him..

dont try me..!

im a bad tempered person...!

today i get back my bma and econ paper....

aiks...as i expected...disappointing..

i called my mum...

and...while i talk..

tears flow..

haha..dont know why..

feel bad..

oh ya...

one thing..

i grow fat edi..

3 days in Ipoh..

ate up to 6 meals per day..

omg..

just for you information..

i'll not be available for anyone in 8 years..

hopefully is only 5 years..

and i'll be waiting for someone..

someone who i hope will come back to me..

so i think that's all for today..

really blur as fallen sick..

*pity*

slight fever..headache and dont know why the nose feel so numb..

haha...going to sleep soon...

good night everyone...

final day of exam

today i sat for 2 papers.
econ from 9 to 10..
ms from 4.30 to 5.30
there is a 6 hours break in between..
so after the econ test, me, weijie, fatimah, hanyin and sheena went back to my condo.
weijie slept for very long..others study..while i pack my stuff..as im going back to my lovely hometown again..
hahaha...=P

nothing much to say today actually..

oh ya..i kena my bumper today..
when i come out from the parking lot..
sad...but..most sad is..he is in front of me..
and he is looking at the process how i kena..
and he was looking at smiling..haha..
how embarrass i am..
but he's cute..
really damn cute..

wont hunt for him anymore la.
as i say..have to put aside edi..
so...wishing you..happy everyday la..
and to my readers...you all should be glad now as you all wont have any information about him anymore..
hahaha...i think this matter annoyed you all much la..
haha...so today onwards..
hopefully..my blog wont have 'him' anymore.
hahaha...

so....in ipoh now..
feel so comfortable and so relieve..
dont know why..haha..
miss my sisters so much...

take care evveryone..
good night...

bleeding love

finally sat for the BMA test..
is not difficult as i expected..
can consider easy too..but whether i can score or not is another problem..
scared of my careless mistakes laa.....

so today saw him la..
but not dare to look at him..also dont know why..
i was in a good mood this morning...
not til my dad call me after the test..

all of a sudden..ask me change course..
medic..?
dentistries..?
can i cope with that..?
can i..?
moreover...studying in kl edi so scary..
how can i study alone in indo..?
should i go over there..?
or should i remain everything the same..?
any comment..??
hmm...really have to consider about it in more detail..

so...i thought im ok with everything..
as if so generous at first..
but when i reach home..
i dont know why..
laying on the bed..thought to get some sleep..
but...end up crying under the blanket..
*cant cry out loud..fatimah is in my house*
what he says might be true..chase for what i dream for and not for future income..
but..no income how to fulfill dream..?
let go....coz no take care..and..should i thank his grandmother for the advise..?

yea...i'll let go..
let go everything..
i mean..love stuff..
more concentrate on studies...chase for my income then only chase for my dream..
that is me..and forever no changes..(hopefully)....

i need jokes...need to laugh out loud..
i need someone to talk to..
but i couldn't find anyone..
i only can write out..hopefully..those who read this..dont get annoyed by me..
i just feel a bit bit lost in my life...at the moment..
will find a way out soon..

take care everyone..
im hereby wishing all of you out there...
forever wont get the chance to feel how the heart bleeds...

relief

so after a long day of studying..
im ready to die for my BMA..

hmm..i finally got the courage to msg him.
and ask him the thing that i wanted to ask.
and also told him something that i know i shouldn't have tell.
anyway..im glad to know something and i gain something.
something that is more important than relationships....=D

there is a lil secret between me and him.
and i promise no one will know about the secret among us..
although....im down...but....haha..im ok...
*as if you all want to know whether im ok or not..*
=p

ok la...dont know why so sleepy suddenly..
am heading to bed now..
really feel so relief to know everything..
and hopefully i'll have a nice sleep tonight..

good night friends.
thanks for the trust..!

second day of exam

we had accounting test today..
the first time i have accounting..
hmm..i dont know la..
i know how to do..
but after do feel something not right..
but i cant figure out what i did wrongly...
so i just let it be..and try to work hard for the final sem la..

today we're in different sitting position..
sadly..he sit behind me..
i cant see him during the exam..
but before entering the exam hall..
i did smile to him..haha...luckily im not that silly as yesterday..
he's still that cute and lovely..
i cant stop looking at him..
although always say wanna stop hunting for him..
but everywhere i go..i also hoping to meet him coincidently..
everytime i get is disappointment..
its ok..at least there is a hope and i enjoy the moment of expecting..
seems so crazy..but i should enjoy the process right?
although at the end i cant get anything from him...
at least i get the sweetest moment among me and myself..
haha...

maybe..someone told me something is true..
love isn't to have it..is to appreciate..
and i appreciate hunting him secretely..and not having him..
haha...im satiesfied with it..haha..
suddenly today like satisfied with so many things..
im that cheerful...haha..berlagak sangat..

so that's all la..today got no mood to wait the comp to upload photo..
will upload some nice one next time..
see ya everyone...
and wish me luck in Business Maths test tomorrow..!
=P

exam day

so today is the first day of exam.
ECSF01..not that difficult..but not sure whether i can score anot..!
=D

since last night was so moody, i didn't really prepare for my exams.
and this morning..my eyes was like so so so 'bengkak'..haha...
luckily it disappear before i reach college..

before the exam, i saw him.

he was just standing in front of me.
i mean..opposite of me..haha..
is kinda sad to see him as he keep on looking at another one.
i know i got no right to have any response seeing him look at anyone..
but, you know, just....sad..! =(
when i look at him, he did look at me..but naturally..i dont dare to look..and i turn away..
this is the most silly thing i did..
i should just smile to him like nothing happen..
aiks...stupid me..

ok..in the exam hall..
i almost cant concentrate..
as what i see in the hall..
is HIM..he sit in front of me..again..
but i dont know he realize im there anot..
i bet he dont..
and i saw him..looking at..another..
and that another..looking at him..aiks..

exams ends at 10a.m.
i send hanyin to the nearest bus stop..and send weijie back home..
i went to 1utama with sheena and fatimah..for breakfast+lunch..
is the first time i go out with sheena actually..
we walked round and round in 1utama searching for food..
and you guess what...we had KFC at last..nothing special..aiks..=.=

after meal, we went to sheena's house for revising.
and you know what..i slept there..i never study anything..coz the weather is too hot..
and it makes me feel sleepy..
then...i told my fren through sms about a big big secret of mine..but i wont tell you what..
and..it took me so long to consider whether i should tell her or not..as i scared she cant accept..
at last..i told her..and as what i expected..she cant really accept.
and i feel so so so so bad..that i regret telling her at first..
then..when she called me..and i cried..just dont know why...i cried..
i hardly could answer her...i just...uhmm..oh...

anyway...thanks a lot friend..thanks for being supportive and....I LOVE YOU..!!!

one more thing..i propose to him again...

but i failed..this will be the last time..and i'll set him free..

so..many things did happen these few days..

and i've been cannot sleep for few days..

i'm becoming a panda..and my eye bags are dark and heavy..

hopefully i can let down everything and had a good night tonight..

as i promise i'll upload some of the photo next time right.....

i'll upload some today..

hopefully can upload it successfully...

ok..this is how i look like last year..

and this is how i look like when im form 4..

and i took this last thursday..when i went grocery shopping with my uncle..

was attending dinner on behalf of my parents..was sleepy..

took this years ago..three sisters..

my youngest sister..forever capturing herself..

this is what they do when someone capture them while they were jogging...haha..

fatimah and weijie during econ lecture..that fellow sleeping huh..??!!!!

so i think that's all for today..

hope you enjoy my photos..

see you all tomorrow then..

good night..^.^

saaad

so now i know..
he really likes someone..
i hate my six sense..
always that accurate..
what can i do now..
i have to walk out from this..
i have to forget bout this..
i don't want to go the same hall as him..
i don't wish to go lecture..
i don't wish to get any chance to look at him..
i wish i wont fall..for him..anymore..
now really wishing them..happy ever after..
with my sincere heart..
i know im not that deeply in love..
but seriously..it hurts..
anyway..
by this time..i should get use to it..
coz..is not the first time being like this..
i hope that i wont have the 'love' stuff appear in my life..
and...i hate to fall in love..

a new start

what i mean by a new start..?
i never realize all my friends using the same website to blog.
so..i decided to give up my old blog and start a new one here.
thanks to yen..that gave me the strong feeling to start a blog here.
haha...=D

hey yen..remember to check my blog constantly, i'll upload most of your old pics here...day by day.. =P

since is the first time i blog here.
let me intro myself.
im 18 and currently studying in TBS with a whole new kind of life.
er.....nothing special to talk about..let's move on to my friends part.

anyone curious who is yen?
let me show you some pictures.

let see..

this is sian..
the lovely and adorable sian..
she's always cute and sweet..

yin ar yin..
she is the one whom i love to take care most.
haha..love ya lots yin.

here comes yen..

a year ago..took this when we're having tuition..
haha..good memory..

and this is shirley.

how come she forever looks so nice..?
haha..miss you lots shir..

ok..that's all i have..
actually there are lots more..
but my stupid phone don't know what happen can't upload any of the photo.
aiks....=(
anyone wanna see my family...??
thought of upload some of my family member's photo..
don't know why again can't upload.
i'll save it for next time then.
hahaha...=P


oh no..tomorrow is my mid sem test.
i haven't study yet..*gosh*..



today get some news that is unbelievable..
and unexpected..
some are from the family about my family..
some from the blog.
hmm..so..finally i know..
he likes someone.
really curious to know.
but how to know..couldn't i go ask him.
its way to obvious.
although posting this also already obvious.
but he wont see this i think.
if he sees..he also wont know im mentioning him.
haha...so..here wishing him.
good luck and may have a happy future with her.
hmm...as if i know that her..haha..=D



that all for today..
going to study now.


*here by wishing TBS March intake students...
good luck and all the best*

***oh ya oh ya..you know what..

i'll be having test in the same hall with him for 4 days.

haha..normally i only get the chance to meet him in lecture hall.

hardly meet..coz not everyday have lecture.

now i get to be with him for 4 days in the same hall..hoho..happy..^.^